Confessions of a Single Mother: Containing My Joy


Maia is now just over two and a half. I cannot believe THREE is fast approaching. Three seems so much older than two, three is not a baby anymore. Baby or not I am still breastfeeding the little madam. (From one boob, it’s all very lopsided and wonderful). We share a brief moment each day where I gaze into her big blue-green eyes and I’m taken back to when she was newborn and it seemed like I spent my entire existence with her at my nipple. I keep meaning to wean her but she seems to love it so. The health visitor said to do it when I was ready. And I have to say, I thought I was ready, but now I’m not so sure. It’s not easy. I am aware I’ll have to stop eventually. I don’t want to be the mother that breastfed her daughter till she was seven. People do that. And that’s great for them.- Whatever works. I have nothing against it, unlike a lot of people, I don’t think it’s weird. But at some point this year, I want my boob back for good…More on this later.


Here we are doing our thing…


Going out and about with Maia gets more and more interesting the older she gets. We get a lot of little old ladies approaching us in supermarkets. I love it. It goes a little like this:

“How old is she?”

“Two” *proud smiles*

“And what’s her name?”

“Maia” *more proud smiles*

“Ah what a lovely name, isn’t she beautiful! Hello Maia!”

Maia: “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” *expression of pure outrage, looks away* 

“Oh.. right then…*some polite remark from the old lady about her innocence and right to protest*” 

*old lady walks away*

“Oh Maia, she was only trying to say hello..”

“NO Mummy! NO hello!” 

This happens a lot. Sometimes she says hello back and even offers a sweet smile, other times she just looks at me in pure disgust. I get it. Humans can be irritating. Especially when you’re just walking around, minding your own business and suddenly you’re approached by a very amiable little old lady, telling you how beautiful you are. – How awful…


“Yes yes yes!! Well done you clever girl! I am so proud of you! High Five Mummy!!!” – My words of delight as Maia used her potty for the first time last night. There was a genuine sense of excitement; I couldn’t wait to see how much she’d peed. Overcome with pride; I felt like messaging all my nearest and dearest with photographic evidence of the pee itself, all within the parameters of the potty, she’s got good aim. – But I thought perhaps this was too far, better to keep my daughter’s triumph in my head and not on other people’s camera roll. I contained my joy.

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