Confessions of a Single Mother: Me to Me; Advice for 2017

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

I learnt many things last year; some through positive experiences, others through not quite so positive ones.

I won’t list them all out; things like learning that I detest Spirulina and never to purchase it again, or that too much caffeine makes me bloated, these points don’t require much elaboration. So here are some highlights:

Try new things, often.

Now this I already knew, it’s quite obvious that to lead an interesting, varied, fulfilled life, you should try new things; but you don’t really believe it wholeheartedly until you go out and do it. This can be interpreted in terms of big things – travelling the world-,small things – a new curry recipe- and everything in between. For me, auditioning for a play came somewhere in between, and I felt amazing afterwards. I learnt that I definitely want to audition for more plays this year, see more plays and read more plays. Just plays plays plays.

Go to the theatre more.

Elaborating on my last point; I love going to the theatre, and yet I only do it on average once or twice a year. Yes it’s expensive, but so are lots of things. I don’t travel often or have a particularly pricey-lifestyle. I went abroad once last year for the first time in three and a half years. I think in 2017 I’m going to treat myself more to the joys of the theatre; it’s always a great pick-me-up, good for the soul and leaves me believing my life is a musical.

Prioritise.

I’ve stopped browsing through Instagram aimlessly.
I’ve stopped finishing books I’m not really enjoying.
I’ve stopped going window shopping after realising; walking around and not buying things is simply no fun, just a waste of time and energy.
I’ve stopped looking at people’s travel photos in envy and started making plans of my own.
I’m learning, slowly, how to cut the crap and focus all my energies on the good stuff. – Fruitful activities and people that make me happy. – Because I have plenty of both.

Your body is a temple, treat it so and be grateful.
I spent most of last year feeling bleh about my body. I have a healthy, functioning body, it generally does what it’s supposed to. I carried Maia for 40 weeks and gave birth – naturally- and yet for some insane reason, I failed to appreciate how truly extraordinary my body is. – The fact I could no longer fit into a size 8 skin-tight playsuit – that was ridiculously tight the afternoon I bought it anyway – bothered me. It bothered me all year long and it still bothers me a little now.

But I am learning that in order to change something, you must first accept and love it. So I am trying to love the extra 14lbs around my tummy that mean the zip on my playsuit only does up so far. I’ve decided that although I sometimes feel like a baby whale with legs; that is not externally all that accurate.

I love that playsuit. But I love me more. Which led me to think it’s really not worth giving myself a hard time over; what’s done is done.

So I choose to try and eat more wisely in 2017 (…I know, don’t we all..) because that playsuit is the only piece of clothing that gives me a waist, curves and perky boobs all at once.

It’s a magical garment and would be rather fantastic if by 2018 it could work it’s magic once again.

Which takes me swiftly into my next point:

Stop trying to give up sugar.

It’s just not going to happen, at least not completely; run more instead.

Run, run, and run some more. Do more squats (because those 20 squats you do in the kitchen each day whilst waiting for Maia’s pasta to boil, they make a difference..). Dance even more than you already do, which is a lot.

Stop trying to be the perfect parent. The perfect parent does not exist.

If Grandma buy’s Maia cheerios; let her have the frickin cheerios, stop throwing unnecessary tantrums.

If she watches – God forbid – an hour or so of the iPad one evening; it is not ideal, but it is okay, you are not an evil mother.

If she refuses to let you brush her teeth – it’s not completely your fault – remember the other Mummies who mentioned they had the exact same problem?