Honest Motherhood: Preparing for a Tiny Miracle 

A recent column for The Wokingham Paper: 
I am now 32 weeks pregnant. And I feel it. I feel it when I sit, stand, or try and go on a walk longer than my bladder will permit. With two months still to go, I am aware it’s not going to get any more comfortable any time soon.
The pregnancy pillow I used when I was carrying Maia, the one I spoke so highly of, I find irritating this time around. It doesn’t quite do the trick like it used to. You’re not supposed to lie on your back when you’re heavily pregnant, (sides only) so out of the four usual sleeping positions, I am now restricted to two. I spend my nights physically deciding between them.
Occasionally I’ll shove a pillow between my legs, only to throw it on the floor in a huff minutes later. The whole routine is both ridiculous and slightly amusing for my partner to witness. He tries to sympathise, but it only frustrates me further that he doesn’t know exactly how it feels, and cannot truly empathise. (Which of course is not his fault, his job is to rub my back and say comforting things, which he is very good at.)
On the practical side, we are working our way through a mighty to do/to buy list. We’ve been gifted and loaned bits and pieces from friends and family, so that’s been a huge help.
My mother bought me an electric breast pump for my Birthday, which was both a joy to receive and a daunting reminder of the perils of breastfeeding.
I’ve yet to finish packing my hospital bag, but it’s on it’s way. At the moment it consists of a nightie, some pyjama bottoms and the new oversized granny pants I bought online from Sainsbury’s for after the birth. (I say “after the birth”, I’ve been wearing them for the last few weeks after purchasing several packs. They’re the most comfortable bits of fabric I’ve ever worn, and I might never go back to anything flattering ever again.)
My “to buy for hospital” list now has very few items left on it. I spent last Friday night adding things like nipple cream and fragranced nappy bags to my Boots basket, hitting order and feeling very satisfied with myself.
I had the same feeling when I ordered our Tommee Tippee Twist and Click Advanced Nappy Disposal Sangenic Tec Starter Pack, also known as a fancy nappy bin. It seemed costly for what it was, but then how can you say no to “The only bin that individually seals each nappy for unbeatable odour block”. (We had the same bin with Maia and I got a kick twisting, clicking and watching the dirty nappy disappear into an odourless vacuum. At 3am, you get your highs where you get them.)
With eight weeks to go, or less if the little darling decides to show up early to the party, I can say that yes we are nearly ready. But also no, despite all the breast pads a woman will ever need, we will never be truly ready for the tiny miracle about to enter our lives.

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