Confessions of a Single Mother: A Two Way Street


Maia is now two and a half. And my oh my is she two and a half. Her ability to communicate effectively is growing by the day and I forget that this little person is a sponge, absorbing anything and everything we do and say.

So here I share a couple of moments where perhaps I should have watched my tongue, where her responses have made me think twice about what comes out of my mouth:

The one with the inappropriate song: Mummy singing to Anaconda on the kareoke (okay not the most suitable song but I know the whole rap at the beginning and wanted to see if I could do it with the music..): Oh. My. God. look at her butt…

Maia: oh. My. God.

Mummy: Oh no Maia don’t say that, it’s “oh my gosh…”

Maia into the microphone: OH MY GOD

Grandma from the kitchen: What did she just say?!


Mummy and Grandma: Oh dear. 


The one with the URRGGHHH: *walking through a shopping centre, Maia sees an ice cream/pop corn stand*

Maia: Grandma I want dis…

Mummy: We can’t have that now we’re going home for dinner

*points at ice cream* Maia: I WANT DIS!!! 

Mummy: Well we could just get her some popcorn, she won’t eat much

Grandma to me: Do YOU want popcorn?

Mummy: NO!!?! IM ON A DETOX!!!… Leave it LETS GO.

Maia: *tightens her fists* and let’s out a ” URRRGGGGHHH”, what can only be described as part grunt, part growl of frustration.

Mummy: Where did she learn THAT?!

Grandma: Where?! er…..

Mummy: Oh please I never make THAT sound

*And of course later, and I don’t even remember what caused me to become so enraged, I made that EXACT sound. The URGHHHHH. And I’d been doing it ever since before Maia was even born. I found myself reflecting the exact frustration Maia had suffered moments earlier. My child was my mirror. I knew I’d really have to make more effort to watch my tongue, and the way I reacted to things. Phrases like “Oh my god” or “oh bollocks” were NOT okay. She’s two not fourteen, I want to cling on to her verbal innocence for as long as possible. Which means no more Nicki Minaj. And I’d have to find other ways to release my frustrations because the URRRGHHHHH that came out of her mouth – in retrospect- sounded exactly like me. – It’s not pretty, though it is mildly amusing. I knew I’d also have to work on teaching her to accept she can’t always get what she wants, and huffing and puffing might work in certain situations when she’s older, but not with me. We’re working on calm and rational, not “I WANT DIS, URRRGHHHHH!!!”. So here I am trying to teach my daughter how to behave whilst working on my behaviour. I feel I have as much learning to do as she does, if not more. It’s a two way street.

This last one’s just because Grandma found it hilarious, no potty mouth here:

The one with the Business: 
*Mummy baking cakes for Birthday celebrations, cake not to be eaten until following day*

Grandma: Oh no we can’t have that cake, that’s for Mummy’s business (* obviously not, I can’t bake let alone sell my creations to customers, Grandma likes to play pretend).

Maia: WHAT?!… Business?! …NOOOO!!!!