Confessions of a Single Mother: All The Sweetness

I am tired. Tired of eating too much sugar, tired of the blemished skin that I know could be clear if I just ate a little better, and tired of knowing this but being unable to change.

So this year, for Lent, I’m actually going to try giving something up. (I’ve never really done Lent before, I’ve given things up, at various points of the year, but never for Lent.)

I considered going cold turkey on sugar, but they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, and so I ruled that one out. I’ve attempted the sugar-detox enough times to know it’s just not a viable path for me, especially living at home with my parents and a three year old, where pancake day seems to be every other day. I can cut-down, but I won’t be cutting it out completely any time soon.

Then I thought of dairy, having done my research, apparently it’s a big no-no, but I realised, aside from the milk in my coffees, and occasional cheese on toast, I really don’t consume all that much dairy anyway, so I decided I’ll limit my dairy intake as much as possible, but stick with the cheese.

Then my good friend Hannah mentioned she was giving up meat, cake and chocolate, and at first I thought, oh Gawd, I could never do that, I consume chocolate…well most days..and cake probably once a fortnight. (Meat only occasionally, we’re more of a fish-family).

But a day after wishing her luck and stating how I wasn’t giving anything up, I picked up GOOP CLEAN BEAUTY, one of those heavily detailed guides to “A healthy body, a natural glow and a happy mindful life” and whilst I do not agree with everything – “No strawberries, oranges, grapefruits, grapes or bananas..” ….(Don’t confuse me people?! Grapes are good no?..) – the rest of it seems pretty spot on and I was left feeling like I wanted to make a change.

So chocolate it is.

Chocolate on it’s own (including dark, it’s a slippery slope), chocolate cake, chocolate biscuits, hot chocolate, chocolate spreads, chocolate ice cream…

I mean it’s hardly limiting as there are 1000 other sugary bits of crap I can gobble up, but it’s a positive step in the right direction. I need to somehow detach myself from all the sweetness. – The mochas, the innocent nibbles of toast and nutella, the patisseries Grandma buys that a person with some self-control could actually say no to.

In fact, Grandma doesn’t even offer them to me anymore, she just leaves them in a bag in the corner of the kitchen, – knowing full well I’ll dig them out- then goes to work, and I can’t bear the not-knowing, so I go over and look inside the bag, to find Cinnamon Swirls and Pan-au-Chocolats…

What does one do?! Put them back and pretend I never found them? They would only haunt me for the rest of the day, it would only be a matter of time, might as well cut to it.

Find me the mother of a three year old who can find an unexpected Pan-au-Chocolat in the middle of a hectic-school-run-morning and not take a bite out of it..I know these women exist…

And by the end of Lent I hope to be one of them.